I'll admit it.
Even though some will think I'll have a supporting role in the next Terminator movie, I'll admit it.
I work with AI. Everyday.
Some of my clients ask me to start with it and build from it. Others provide me with its results and ask me to add in the human element.
I don't have any issues working with AI, especially ChatGPT. “Chip” and I have developed a good working relationship.
For many of my blogs, I've provided Canva’s AI component with a written version of the images in my head, and it's come up with some pretty spot-on captures of my words. (Except for the squirrel that had human hands; that one was a bit odd.)
For the most part, though, the AI-generated images have been spot-on what I was looking for. So, naturally, when I recently saw an intriguing AI image prompt, I was on board, and wanted to see the results.
Image Generator Prompt: Based on what you know about me, draw me a picture of what you think my life currently looks like.
I have to admit, if this is what my life currently looks like, I never want to leave that room.
Books everywhere
Steaming mug of coffee
Surrounded by plants
Cozy blanket at the ready
A focus on editing, writing, and yoga
Soft glow from a burning candle
A window view of serenity and peace
And, of course, a cat
I could happily call this room home for the remainder of my days. It's literally my introvert's dream.
But this is not what my life currently looks like, Chip. You missed some things:
Relationship stress due to past trauma and external factors
Anticipatory grief with losing a parent first to dementia, and waiting on ultimate loss
Knowledge in understanding I can't shield my kids from life's burdens or pains
Financial strain of owning a business, not knowing if it's the right path for me
On the brink of menopause, so I barely recognize myself some days
That photo looks perfect; it's the ideal image of what I wish my life looked like.
But the stark reality of what my life actually looks like is much different, and it is far from perfect.
One of my relationships is really going through it right now, and I was told yesterday that maybe I needed to live by myself so I wouldn't have to be around any imperfect people in the world. And this really hurt. Like deeply hurt.
It hurt to hear words that felt dismissive and misaligned with who I am. I'm fighting an inner tension between longing for peace and an ideal and being in relationships (and a world) that are anything but those two things.
But, because I'm an INFJ, and constantly seek improvement in my own life, I have to consider whether there’s any truth in the statement—so I can further examine my expectations and if they are unrealistic or unreasonable.
So, my reflection question is:
Is my struggle with imperfection itself (something every human deals with) or rather with specific behaviors that violate my values and cause harm to others?
When I really ask myself what imperfection looks like, it doesn't include vulnerability, mistakes, or growth.
But, it does look like poor choices and irresponsible behaviors that cross the line for me and cause harm to others.
There's a big difference between being human (messy, flawed, imperfect) and being reckless or harmful.
And, as I continue to reflect, I realize that for most of my life, I've held myself to high standards that others might not be able to meet. Subsequently, I've been accused of being “too hard” on people because of those standards.
And as I look even deeper into this, I am seeing that my desire for an ideal has often been misinterpreted as perfectionism or intolerance.
So, when I look at what I'm dealing with, this is what I'm not doing:
—I'm not seeking perfection in my relationships.
—I'm not afraid of imperfection in others.
—I'm not rejecting others for having flaws.
I’ve realized that it’s not imperfection I struggle with—it’s the acceptance of behaviors that go against the core of my being (and, quite honestly, the core of most others), because while mistakes are a natural part of life, harmful patterns shouldn’t go unchecked or enabled to continue.
So, what now?
How do I find the balance between that perfect image AI created for me and my current situation?
I recognize that my ideal is less about perfection and more about peace—a space where I can feel safe, understood, and valued. It’s not about erasing flaws or expecting everyone to fit into a neat family portrait. It’s about creating an environment where vulnerability and growth are welcome, but harmful behaviors don’t take root and aren’t allowed to continue or cause harm to others.
This balance won’t be perfect (and that’s okay). And I'll still get it wrong (and that's also okay).
The ideal image will adjust over time, and so will I.
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